The Exit

First Day of Work

2005-05-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

What a day!

I just got a temp job offer through Fai on Monday, so i ended up working today. As i entered the company, immediately i was introduced to Serene. She required me to make cold calls to various or actually a lot of companies in Hong Kong. So basically i had to speak to their finance manager or to be specific, the person in charge of their entertainment and travel spendings in their company. I had to enquire about how much their company spent on entertainment and travel, office equiptment and finally external services.

Hmm... seems like a pretty simple job, i mean all i needed to do was ask. Well...... out of a hundred calls i only managed to get 1 company to reply. Seriously, i found it really tough. It was like running the last kilometer of a marathon, i felt like giving up any moment and actually every moment. I guess partially i'm not experience and then the language barrier added to the trouble. The hongkies hardly spoke fluent english and they couldn't understand what i was asking them. Many a times, they couldn't even transfer me to the correct person to speak to. I basically spent the whole day on the phone with practically no results. Felt so useless. Hai...... i really wonder if i can carry on with this temp job. Well i guess you might say, "Well lighten up, its just a temp job!". Well i guess i do not like the feeling of being so useless.

HELP!!! What should i do now? Feeling kind of discouraged about working. I know its stupid, but i cannot help but think that what if i get a job and end up not being to do it? Have i really learnt enough to start work? Well i guess i just have to cheer up, it really just is a temp job, an eye opener.

Looking on the bright side or rather a less gloomy side, i do not need to work tomorrow. HURRAY!! They said they'll call me if they needed me, which in fact i'm not sure whether if its a good sign. The bad thing is that i might have screwed up so badly that they'll never call me ever again. That doesn't sound too good (actually not good at all) on me but on the other hand, i do not need to work tomorrow and go through the storm of miscommunication and rejection.

Well, signing out......
Got a promise to keep tomorrow......

List of Things to Do

2005-05-03T15:58:00.000+08:00

Send out resumes
Apply for convocation
Train for IPPT
Wash motorbike
Get birthday present
Send laptop for check

Rob is the MAN!!!

2005-04-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

Watching The Amazing Race......

I would say i'm pretty impressed by Rob. Rob is the guy who won Survivor All Stars and manage to score with the babe, Amber. His ability to take control of things is amazing. I mean anyone can be a good manager, of course when they know what is needed to be done. Precisely thats what so interesting about watching reality shows like the Amazing Race and Survivor. Its puts you in a situation where there is no clear cut way to solve your problem. More often than not, you might not even know the problem existed. Its the people who think out of the box that makes it big.

And here comes Rob. He is always infront of the situation. When his truck breaks down, he takes the initiative to look at the problem and ultimately fixing it. When there is a traffic jam, what can you do about? He simply pushes the faulty vehicle away. Never in my mind was i able to think a person could fix a traffic jam, anyone else would have simply waited for the jam to clear itself. At a tough roadblock, he was unable to finish his task. Even at a point of desperation and stress, he came up with a strategy to forgo the task and take the penalty. I wonder who would have dared to take such a bold move. He even covered his ass by asking people to join his strategy so in the case his gamble fail, he might still not be last. Thats pure genius!!! This is a game about brains and luck. He already got the brains, whether he wins the Amazing Race now depends on luck.

Rob really is a evil genius!! His ability to adapt and analytical mind is really something to be studied.

Lesson of the Day

Know a problem when you see one.
Solve the problem, don't wait for it to solve itself.
Constantly think of alternatives. Questions in reality are not maths problems, there is always more than one solution.
Remember to cover your ass if you are taking a risk.

Question of the Week #2

2005-04-12T22:53:00.000+08:00

Why do a person (I) react before thinking? Can logic withstand emotions?

I guess everyone has the situation whereby logic and emotions stands on different ends. Its like the cartoon where Goofy has a devil on one shoulder and a gay angel on the other.

Senario:
Warm or more precisely hot sunny afternoon. Too hot for anyone's pleasure, unless you are the type who like to get yourself roasted and pose by the swimming pool. She messaged me to ask me help book 4 seats (including mine) at Yusoff Ishak House (YIH). I told her i was at the library printing stuffs and i'm on the way there. So i proceeded to YIH only stopping to buy a drink by the pool since i parked my bike at the Sports Recreation Center (SRC). Well by the time i reach my destination, She and her gang was already there, or rather i met them right outside the door. So May was surprized. She said jokingly, "Oooh...... You lied. You said you are booking seats for us. You liar.".

My Reaction:
I blew up internally, and continued to be pissed (thou not showing it explicitly) for the next hour or two.

Analysis:
Well...... thinking about it now, at that point of time i'm pretty sure i know that she was just joking. But that fact was simply not enough to contain the irritation inflicted. It basically rose into a battle within me, where logic told me too cool off while subconsciously the wrath simply grew automously. Seriously even now i have no idea why exactly i blew up. I mean logically or with just 3 seconds of pondering, its clear there wasn't a need to be pissed. So here comes the question...... Why then did i feel the way i did? Why did i react against logic, even when the logic was obvious to me?

1) Was it the weather and the rushing from place to place that got me?
2) Was it She that got to me?
3) Was it being accused even though jokingly that got me?
4) Was it stress from exams?
perhaps.......

If you ask me now, its probably a combination of the first 3.
Rushing tend to get me agitated easily + the hottish weather, thats a "bad" catalyst.

And She? Probably. She sometimes simply gets on my nerve, even when i know she is joking. On a bad day, she gives me a feeling that i practically owe her. She like blaming me. Or rather, she naturally defends herself for everything. When she is late, its her dog's fault, her mum's fault, her alarm clock, the bus driver, me or whatever, as long as its not her. Its just one of her less healthy character traits. So this results in me getting the blame most of the time. Well to be fair, i don't really mind taking it on a good day, but on a bad day, i just get irritated. So i guess today just isn't a good day.

Next, being called a liar. Hmmm, well that obvious. Who likes that? Well maybe most react better knowing its a joke. I guess i didn't. I'm no saint but i am surely not a liar. Nobody i guess like telling lies but and occasionally a lie comes out sub-consciously. But me, i seriously do take a conscious effort not to lie. Thou i do often give ambigious answers when i do not want to speak the truth. Haha...... I repeat, I'm no saint. Well, I guess a person "mis-interpreting" my answers i feel is a lesser evil then me lying, although seriously it's just a millimeter of difference. =P
Its just me. Like in the exams, i cheat by writting formulas on my calculator but i do not copy from the person next to me. But i don't mind if you want to copy mine. Its my principle. In all, i guess being called something i'm not didn't help. Maybe i don't having my integrity being questioned.

Well all in all, these are just possible reason but i cannot finger out exactly what happened. Its not like i can do a categorical analysis to find out the signigicant main effects and its interations. The reasons i guess is not priority now. The question is how can i make logic prevail over overwhelming emotions?

Lucky day in Summary

2005-03-29T00:26:00.000+08:00

Day started off without the monday blues since monday is my free day. Well but i still went to school anyway.

2.63 seconds after i stepped out my cave, its starts raining. Seeing its juz a slight drizzle and sunny further away, i decided to continue my journey to west anyway.

On my bike, travelling for about 20.89 metres, its starts pouring. Not exactly cats and dogs but well, hard enough to pull out my rain-ware. As i did that, the bag storing my rain equiptment tore. Oppps... i was thinking. But nonetheless it wasn't anything serious, can just sew it up when i have time. When i have time to bring it upstairs to my mum and her sewing kit actually. If i had travel any less, i would have turn back and headed home, spending my day slacking and night regretting.

Dropped by VICOM to clear some misunderstanding and then proceed to school. On the road, this middle age woman decided not to continue queing in her right turning lane and swerve out to almost hitting me. Well obviously she was not checking her mirror when doing her stunt. I swerve and blasted my horn for whatever it was worth (sadly it wasn't worth much. Note to myself: remember to change a more kick-ass horn). Its the second time i used my horn out of emergency. Most of the other times were usually out of fustration or basically just trying to irritate some other inconsiderate driver. So well i guess i'm lucky i didn't die or even a minor accident, if my reaction was any slower i would have rammed into the car, if my luck was any worse the lane i swerve into would have had a bus or something speeding by.

Still on the road, rains stops, sun comes out, start perspiring in my rain proof and circulation proof jacket and pants. Well at least i my rain-jacket dried up.

Finally reach school, advance to library. As i was entering the elevator i felt an insect on my neck. My swift hands corner the enermy and engage an attack. But enermy decided on a kamikaze. Burning sensation. Enermy used chemical warfare. Almost wanted to shout out in pain + vulgarities if not for the other two people in the lift. Played cool for approximately 32 seconds until the other passengers left. Retrieve the insect carcase from the floor for a visual inspection. Hmmm...... Bee...... no wonder...... Threw bee into the bin and went into the library. Intrestingly, its the first time i remember getting stung by a bee. Something new...... Well its not everyday you get to experience something new.

Heard an interesting story on the radio. Here goes......
This fella takes a boat to somewhere daily (like say changi to unbin). One day he decides to chit chat with the captain who has been ferrying him for many years. So he asks the capt, "Hey you have to cruising on this area for ages, you must be quite experience. You must know all the dangerous spots around here (like where got rocks and strong undercurrent those kind of things)." Well the capt replied, "Nope, i dunno all the dangerous areas, ......" At this point of listening to the story i was wondering where is this story leading? Why doesn't he know? How does he get to his destination safely then? I got this habit of trying to guess and predict outcomes. My guess was he did it as if its a new time everyday but his skills and experience always pull through. Haha, i was wrong. Anyway back to the story, sorry for interupting Capt'n. The capt was saying, "Nope, i dunno all the dangerous areas, I only know where all the safe routes are.". This answer kinda caught me by surprise. Not what i would have expected, but something sounded so right about his reply. Hmmm...... will think about it and see if its applicable to other stuff.

Uh-ho, 5 hours of sleep left and counting down......

Question of the Week #1

2005-03-23T00:16:00.000+08:00

How Selfcentred or Selfless are u?

I have been thinking about this though the week, basically whenever I have the time out of school work. I guess this question isn't really about choosing or saying either is better than the other. Being self-centered may seem to be the bad guy here or it seem wrong whenever a person is said to be self-centered. Nobody (or at least me) will never like to be accused of being a self-centered.

But then again, if I always have to think about everyone else before myself, I'm not doing myself much justice ain't I? So where do one strike the balance? Sad to say, this is definitely not an easy issue to tackle. Hhmmmm......

Its so easy to be self-centred. Thinking of my own skin rather than everyone else, that's surely simple. Just do the maths, accounting for just one person vs possible dozens. This self-egoism thingy is probably ideal for everyone too. A world suddenly without guilt or conscience and probably without morals since morals wouldn't exist in the absence of guilt and conscience. We wouldn't have to answer to anyone but ourselves. Isn't the world so much simpler then? I wonder.

No need for me to point out that this hypothetical world is nowhere and never will be anywhere near perfect. Probably not even 0.001% of perfect if there is such a thing. Simply imagine the daily struggle to buy a bowl of noodles from the wanton noodle stall. Nobody will be queuing. Why should they? As long as I'm the first to get my noodles, why should I care about you?

We are lucky that at least morals (or whatever is left of it) still exists and people still have conscience. Generally I would like to be as much a selfless person as I can. Most of the time it really does feel good to help others, as long as its not at a personal expense of anything important. What happens then when its something important? Hmmmm...... Now what? I guess its only natural to think of yourself then. Its pretty sad that after a week of thinking about this, this is the only conclusion I can come to. Everything still depends on the situation and choices we are faced with.

Well, to make the most of this, we just have to be as selfless as we can be. So before you want to demand too much, think of how much have you given. When people choose themselves over you, its only unavoidable. People doing you a favour and being considerate to you is not a right, its a privilege.

First post again......

2005-03-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

Well here am i again, trying to write my first blog post. Funny but although this is gonna be my first post, i have probably tried to post this more than once. I really would like to have an introduction about myself but nahhh......

I guess there is no point saying so much about me. I'm just me, neither a somebody nor a nobody.

So thats all for now.

Welcome any readers, which i seriously doubt there is any......

Haha, so its just me, me , me and me here.

=)